Choices

I can't set my mind to buy this:


because of this:



The desire to travel is far greater than the desire to own a car.

Sad World

Today I learned that the world is really harsh. That there's no such things as being wronged, it's just that you do not really understand there's nothing offensive with what they did to you and you're just a little too sensitive. Humiliating isn't it? Being wronged and feeling ridiculous to hurt because they make you feel like there's nothing to hurt and rant about.

I also learn not to expect much when I complain against people who are so much better than me - because it will only result to disappointment. It could be simply phrased to "a misunderstanding, or worse, you just got it all wrong". Do not expect people to understand you, expect them to defend the other side because no matter what you say, it will all end in vain.

Right now I feel like I'm the evil one. Unfair.

Sad world isn't it.

I need a place where I can let all these feelings out - where I can shout and cry all I want til it hurts no more. I need a place where I can scream all my frustrations, on how some people could be really cruel and a safe place to curse the world for not being fair.

I thought that this time it would be easier as I've been here before. I guess I was wrong. It hurts all the same, if not a lot worse.

On Pampering Mom

Got my mom a new phone, an all-expense-paid trip to Singapore and a fun Christmas at a fabulous hotel. She's the most generous person I've ever known and she definitely deserve all these and more.

I love you mom and all these aren't enough to express how grateful I am for the past 23 years you have spent taking care of me.

PAL's New Booking Class

What's with the new booking class. Former booking class used to be limited to "Econolight, Fiesta Class, Mabuhay Class". Now we have Fiesta Deal, Fiesta, Saver and Fiesta Plus for Economy and Mabuhay Classic and Mabuhay Premium. The online booking isn't so convenient either. Example: If I want to check if there are available Fiesta Deal Seat and Fiesta Saver Seat. I have to click Fiesta deal then they will show you seats on Fiesta Deal. You have to run another search if you wish to see Fiesta Saver Seat. I wish they could do what Singapore Airlines do. I click then they gave you the prices for different booking class. Very convenient. Anyway, for now let's see whatever PAL has instore.

Just not my day

Messed up at work today. Really made a big mistake.
Wasn't lucky with the PISO fare of AirPhilippines as the plane ticket to all the places I'd like to visit is sold out.
Still at the office at 7:30, completing some paper works and will probably end up taking the rest of it home.
To top it off, I have an insensitive TURTLE for a boyfriend.

Great day isn't it?

Savage Garden

They write good songs. Sayang. What happened to them?

Here's one of my favorite:

Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
It's been seven months and counting
You've moved on
I still feel exactly the same
It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name
Like photographs and memories of love
Steel and granite reminders
The city calls your name and I can't move on

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

Am I all alone in the universe?
There's no love on these streets
I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway
So this is my new freedom
It's funny
I don't remember being chained
But nothing seems to make sense anymore
Without you I'm always twenty minutes late

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

And time goes by so slowly
The nights are cold and lonely
I shouldn't be holding on
But I'm still holding on for you

Here I go again
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
But I'm standing at your doorway
I'm calling out your name because I can't move on

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

SPAMS

I can't believe that SPAM emails already reached another level of absurdity or desperation. An officemate of mine received a SPAM mail and this time its about a money in a bank that a certain Mrs. Larry wants to use in Godly manner.

Seriously, is there really a need to use God's Name and even quote Bible verse just to add someone to their mailing list or just to fool someone to reveal their bank account details. Here's a copy of the e-mail.

From: Raph Larry
Reply-to:
Subject: DONATION
Date: Thu, 6 Nov 2008 04:33:26 +0000 (Wed, 23:33 EST)


DONATION
Dear in Christ.

PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USE IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD BECAUSE IT IS A VOW I MADE BEFORE GOD.

I am Mrs Raphel Larry from Bahram I am married to Dr. Paul Larry who worked with Bahrain embassy in Republic of Benin for nine years before he died last year.

We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians.Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of (1.2Million U.S. Dollars ) with one BANK in Benin Republic. Presently, this money is still in the BANK.



Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem.Though what disturbs me most is my stroke Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or better still a christian individual that will utilize this fund the way I am going to instruct here in.

I want a church that will use this to fund churches, orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers.

I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bossom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health and because of the presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible.

As soon as I receive your reply I will give you the contact of the BANK in Benin Republic, where the fund is deposited. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower you as the original- beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian.

Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth.Please always be prayerful all through your life. any delay in your reply will give me room in searching for another church or christian individual for this same purpose.

Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to hearing from you.


Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.
Yours in Christ.

Sister Raphel Larry.

Red Paper Clip

http://oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com/

Maybe you already heard about this guy but I haven't until this afternoon.

The guy traded one red paperclip and after 14 trades he got a house. I wonder what to trade?

Exercise

Desk job is giving me fitness issues. Not much movement and so much eating to keep the boredom away. I already gained 7 pounds since I started working. Some clothes no longer fit me and my clothes size jumped from S to M. My goodness. I better do something or else I won't fit in my office uniform. Que Horror.

I considered yoga, then I remove it on the list. I wanna try Pilates as well - but the nearest studio is so far from where I work. I considered enrolling myself to Fitness First. But really, it's expensive, knowing that I won't even have enough time to visit there as much as I want to. Then a bright idea dawned on me. I'm just gonna buy a treadmill or that bicycle thing. Do it in the morning or when I got home after work.

With all the unwanted weight I'm gaining - shelling out money for a treadmill is better than monthly payments to Fitness First (several monthly payment to Fitness First will eventually amount to the price of a treadmill)

Twitter

I think I want a twitter account and follow Bieber. Kidding. I think I just want to try twitter. Still undecided.

On death

When people die young, it's always a reminder that no one can tell when one's life will end. That really, our time in this world is not in our hands and not ours to decide.

When someone old die, we felt that somehow, his life was well lived. But when someone young die, it always leave us questions. We wonder if the deceased's life was well lived, if it was fulfilling? If he/she achieve his/her purpose? We ponder these questions until such time that these questions were no longer directed to the one who passed away but to ourselves.

An unexpected death of someone I know reminded me that life is even shorter for some people and therefore I should not waste any time or take anyone for granted. That each day, I should take time to remind my love ones how much they mean to me and to make each day, each experience matter. There is a realization to do as much as I can to make life fulfilling, to do what I want and what I can while there is time because no one knows if I'll still see the next day. It doesn't mean rushing all the things I want. It's all about living the moment. Maybe, I will not live long enough to make all the things I plan happen. Maybe God will let me live a 100 years or even more. I'm not sure. But what matters is when death comes knocking on my door, I will be able to face it without any regret. I wish when that day come, I will leave this world satisfied.

Rain Rain

It's really difficult to go home when it's raining awful hard. But thanks to Mr. Van Driver as it was very kind of him to alight each passenger in a sheltered area. It was raining so hard but you've been really kind.

Project 30

I can't believe I totally forgot my Project 30. Unbelievable.

This is what I posted @Multiply last year.

If you've noticed, lately my blog entries were focused on enjoying life, letting loose, desperation to break free from office routines, journeys, continuous learning, traveling and creating a lot of experiences. Yes, I feel like at 22, I'm having the mid 20's quarter life crisis. Maybe, it's because I don't want to leave this world empty and void of any experiences.

I was watching Discovery Channel's "30 things to do before you hit 30" when this idea dawn on me. Project 30.

Project 30 is the portfolio of my journey. It will be about the things I wanted to do [and I will do, by hook or by crook] before I hit the age of 30. Project 30 will be the documentation of the adventures I will take from this day onward. It will contain things as simple as watching the sunrise, or walking in the rain to big dreams like enrolling myself in a master's degree.

For a start, I will be posting a tentative list of the "must do" things. Then, I'll be posting updates [might include pictures] regarding the development of my life project.

If in case you want to join me in my upcoming adventures [like ziplining in Tagaytay] or you want to take part in making Project 30 happen, feel free to inform me.

Hope you enjoy this journey as much as I do.

Some thoughts

I wanna do fun things. Take time to breathe and enjoy life's simplicity and complexities! While I AM young! I don't want to squander my life slaving myself at the office. No way. That's not what I have in mind. Can't waste my life working inside the office for the next 30-40 years. You see, what I want to do most is to experience a lot of things, a lot of cultures. To continuously learn something new. Be it a new language or acquiring a new skill. I want to visit places. There's a big world out there waiting to be explored while I am inside the office. There's a lot to see. I want a great journey. I want my life book to be filled with wonderful experience...

Reposting

I'm going to repost this because I feel the need to remind myself.

RAYANNISM

Enjoy life. Laugh loud. Feel free. Speak your mind. Converse with the Maker of Heaven and Earth. Listen and listen well. Understand. Lend a helping hand. Sing out of key. Create beautiful memories. Take pictures. Watch sunrise and sunset. Party til dawn. Hug. Be grateful. Apologize. Accept apologies. Make other people happy. Love, Travel and see places. Bounce back. Be generous and kind. Be humble. Support other people. Work hard, play harder. Take criticism. Do not be afraid. Run the race. Surprise yourself. Develop your skills. Relax. Ask questions. Answer. Dream. Walk in the rain. Read good books. Keep a journal. Have a fancy dinner. Get in touch with long lost friend. Say Thank You. Give 2nd chances. Be on time. Get enough sleep. Slumber party. Continue to Learn. Try new things. Love your mom. Hope and dream big. Take chances. Say no when necessary. Keep an open mind. Change. Be productive and creative. Change. Do not hate. Set goals. Save up. Touch other people’s life. Make a difference. Be bold. Challenge yourself. Read the Bible. Treat people well. Be patient. Share your blessings. Take the risk. Accept consequences. Aim high. Dance. Be in awe. Think like a child. Speak kindness. Do away with hatred and revenge. Pamper yourself once in a while. Stay calm. Remember important dates and people. Do not waste anything. Invest. Give what you owe. Trust. Build bridges. Stay fit and healthy. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love and love what you do. Pay attention. Smile. Live life to the fullest. Live with intention.

On Writing

When not much NEW things happened around you, there isn't much to write about either. See, maybe that's the problem. The never ending cycle of home and work somehow deprived me of other "human experiences". Of course, there are things (exciting and awful) that happen while I am at work. But these things, they are not worth writing about. They are part of the job. Simple as that. Other than work, the only thing that I do these days is the groceries once every two weeks, have dinner with Gelo or my mom once in a while and every Saturday, I oversleep, watch TV and do other things I missed during weekdays. That's it basically. So what is it to share about?

I was reading my old blog posts and realized that most of them were results of being more productive than these, of experiences with friends, of college adventures and of learning through failures because I have so much time to experiment and be stubborn. The things posted (although some of them are rants and some of them doesn't really make sense) are bits and pieces of wonderful experiences and important realization. Things I do not experience much now. Things I do not get to do and personal time which I barely have now.

To have something to write about, there must be some experience behind it or a purpose why something must be published. This will never be accomplished when the author is a little empty and perhaps bored with what she do.

Basyang, Mom and her plants

My mom never cease to surprise me with her antics. Last friday, we had a conversation about her "plants".

Mom: Nakakainis yung bagyo na yan, nakita mo? Namatay yung mga halaman ko.

Me: Ha? Yung nasa gilid ng bahay?
Mom: Hindi, yung tanim ko sa Farmville. 2 days walang kuryente diba?

^^,

When I was younger, I wanted to grow up fast. To finish college so I could start working and earn my money so I can buy things I like. If I knew then, what I know now, maybe I wouldn't be in such a hurry.

I miss being young. Like when I was a kid and my only concern was choosing toys or ice cream flavors. I miss being innocent and maybe ignorant. I miss the feeling of learning something new and discovering something I didn't knew before.

Sigh. When you are working things become different, whether you like it or not. No more excess time for fun. No more time to think about other things and less time to develop other skills. Sometimes it feels like I live, breathe and eat work. I love my work. But it's just that I miss the old times when I don't have to be so responsible and feel locked up.

Hay! Now I even suck at blogging! This used to be effortless. It used to be as easy as breathing. Now this feels so hard to do! Work's killing my creative side.

Must blog again

I missed blogging. :(